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https://sjarmerendejul.blogspot.com/2009/11/papirstjerner.html?showComment=1620548591935#c3731978857768772025 https://skellmeyer.blogspot.com/2014/12/peer-review-doesnt-work.html?showComment=1620548657412#c3429734623918471931 https://skepticalspeculator.blogspot.com/2007/05/bank-of-canada-may-raise-rates-soon.html?showComment=1620549014369#c2330646353405265701 120M3 March 21, 2012 at 8:06 am I hope she understand in the deepness of her heart that a guy giving her a chance is very valuable I told her this straight out, and explained why, so if she didn’t understand before she does now. She definitely gets it. While i will try to afford sympathy where i can, i have to wonder if she’s not now at GREATER risk of ending up pulling the EPL unhaaaappy on a beta. A beta, especially one on a ‘fix’ approach, much like my former self, might take it upon himself to try and show her ‘the love she never experienced’. She’ll be trying so hard to make it work that 10 years later she’ll wake up and realize ‘wtf have i done’. PS-Susan, no one answered my previous query. Does this girl have a stable father figure in her life? 121Susan Walsh March 21, 2012 at 8:06 am @Jones Welcome, and thank you for your comment. Susan tried to raise a point about the broader culture, and all you’ve discussed so far is how much of a slut this girl is and how no man should get with her. Great, whatever, but the post was not about one girl and how much of a slut she is. No it’s not. Reading the comment thread it’s as if Emileigh wrote and asked for advice, and now we’re all weighing in. But that is indeed not what the post was meant to be about. I’m interested in the idea of how understanding habitual behavior, especially under social pressure, might enable us to short-circuit it. As Wilson pointed out in his article, colleges have had great success in altering student behavior by blowing holes in the perceptions about binge drinking. Pluralistic ignorance is a powerful motivator and we know it’s a huge factor in hookup culture. Duke did a study of its own students and claims that only 10% actively hook up. Based on all the stories about Duke in the press, I would have thought that number was more like 90%. We’re allowing the behavior of a small minority to essentially mess up the heads of everyone else, and it has the effect of preventing healthy relationships at a time when young people want and need them.
